Meditation

     I am someone who has always had really intense anger management issues. When I was a teenager they were exacerbated by a growing brain tumor and since I had had most of it removed I have been a bit calmer, but no where near what I would consider normal. 

     I have been looking for a way to help me for a long time. I tried running, boxing, sports, taking up a multitude of hobbies, but nothing really worked for me. Then I started meditating. 

     I had avoided meditating for a long time because its something that was always brought up in the confines of religion, and I am not a religious or spiritual person. So I pushed it to the side. But recently I've seen a lot of people talking about it, people who, like me, are not religious in anyway, so I tried it. Within days I was feeling better. When something made me moderately angry, I was able to pull myself away from the situation and find what was actually the cause of my emotions. I was finding that things that would usually have me smashing things, would only make me feel a slight twinge of annoyance. 

     I wish someone had talked to me about it sooner. Someone had told me meditation really has nothing to do with religion or spirituality (unless you want it to, that is :D) I feel like high school would have gone a lot smother for me had I been doing this all along. 

     So if anyone reads this, I would like you to take a minute, close your eyes and just focus on your breathing. When ever your mind wonders, gently bring your focus back to your breath. When ever you start to feel any negative emotion, try to take a step back and focus on your breath. No one will notice you are doing it (unless you are like me and breath loudly)

     I personally find it helpful to listen to guided meditations as the brain surgery left it difficult for me to focus. At the moment I use an app called Smiling Mind. They have hours worth of free guided meditations, unlike other apps that have maybe one or two with the rest behind a pay wall. There are also a ton on youtube, but I find the ones there tend to be more faith based, so I don't personally find them helpful- but you might! So I welcome you to seek out as many as you can, don't give up just because the first thing you try didn't help. But know its not for everyone, and no one is going to be cured by mediation or feel better over night. I still see a therapist, I still take my medication, but this has been a great thing to add on. Even my therapist noticed it helping my anxiety in some areas. 


     I also like to meditate to ASMR videos at night to help my brain settle down, Heather Feather being on of my favorite asmrtist! (I make them too, but they are more for hobby right now as I do not have the equipment necessary for great sound  production) 

     If you already meditate, feel free to comment, email or kik me (EnirhtakB) and tell me what you do! I would love to talk to you about your practice or help you set up a new one.  You can also just kik me if you feel like chatting, i'm not the best conversationalist or advise giver but i'll try!