I've done this on my ASMR channel a while ago, but I thought, might as well do it here too :D I wish I had someone to talk to about all this kind of stuff as a kid so maybe reading someone elses thought might help?
Although i'm trash at helping people, you can always email me at EnirhtakB@gmail.com if you ever want to talk to someone who doesn't know you about as issues you might have, or issues you may be to scared to tell people afk about.
The Gender Tag
1. How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that definition mean to you?
I don't identify as any gender. So I guess you could call me a "non binary" person or whatever other term people use to describe people who don't identify as male or female.
2. What pronouns honor you?
Whatever people want to call me, i'm okay with. If people really really care, She/Her pronouns are what most people who call me. I don't usually like being called "they" though. It's just not my thing. But, when it doubt- use they. That's what I usually do when I talk about someone and I don't really know them well.
3. Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.
...Normal? I think if most people saw my wardrobe they would think "boring emo" xD
4. Talk about your choices with body hair. How do you style your hair? Do you have facial hair? What do you choose to shave, or choose not to shave?
I rarely cut the hair on my head (tbh I rarely brush it too). I have a bit of dark facial hair but I usually shave it off, I've never professionally waxed my eyebrows. Although I kind of want to, just to see what I would look like. I tried to wax my brows at home once and ripped off so much skin :x
My face is the only thing I shave regularly. Every once in awhile I like to shave my legs and under my arms, but not too often. Just whenever the mood strikes.
5. Talk about cosmetics. Do you choose to wear makeup? Do you paint your nails? What types of soaps and perfumes do you use if any?
I rarely wear any sort of makeup. When I was younger I would slap so much make up on my face because I hated myself. It was so bad that at night when I got out of the shower I would put makeup back on because I didn't want anyone, even family, to see me without it. If I forgot to put some on before school I would make myself sick so I could go home. I stopped wearing it for a few years and now that i'm not so self conscious I do like to play with it every once in awhile, but if I ever think any bad thought about myself or think about how others will see me, I wipe off all the makeup and don't wear any. I'm always fearful i'll fall back into my old ways.
I will do my nails like twice a year.
When it comes to soaps I just use whatever is cheapest and smells nice. I'm not brand loyal so I can't list any specifics.
6. Have you experienced being misgendered? If so, how often?
Not really? I mean i'm sure most people assume i'm cis girl because of the way I look/dress most days- but it's not something that really bothers me.
7. Do you experience dysphoria? How does that affect you?
Yes! I have wanted a reduction since I hit puberty. I have thought about getting full top surgery, but I'm not 100% sure that would make me happy. Most days, I don't think about it, but it really sucks not feeling comfortable in the clothes I like :l I really wish I was flat chested. There are days when I really wish I had a male body as well. Although I recently have started to think of myself as a part of the trans* community (although on the outskirts of it) I don't know if transitioning is something that would make me happy. It's not something i've given really serious though to yet.
8. Talk about children. Are you interested in having children? Would you want to carry a child if that were an option for you? Do you want to be the primary caretaker for any children you may have?
I don't really like kids. I can't see myself ever having to have one. But, in the future if I do happen to have a partner that wants kids, I wouldn't be 100% opposed to adopting/fostering older children. But I have no interesting in having a baby in my house.
9. Talk about money. Is it important to you to provide for a family financially if you choose to have one? Is it important to you that you earn more than any partner you may have? Do you prefer to pay for things like dates? Are you uncomfortable when others pay for you or offer to pay for you?
It's not importants for me to make more then my partner...as long as we can support ourselves and our happy, that's all that matters. I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who felt they had to make more money though, that just sends off so many red flags in my mind. I've never been on a real date, but I think if its a first date the person who initiated it should pay, unless other wise talked about. Personally, I think everyone should just pay for themselves.
I'm not uncomfortable when people pay for me or offer to pay for me..mostly because i'm broke and not gonna turn down a free meal xD Unless they are creepy and seem like the type to make people owe them....then theres no want I would let them pat
10. Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?
I guess this mostly goes out to other people, but just know there's no right or wrong way to be a person. If you identify as a girl, you can like cars and being buff, that doesn't make you a boy. If you identify as a boy and you can like to wear skirts or wear makeup, that doesn't make you a girl. It doesn't make you a freak or weird. You're just a person. What's between your legs does not decide what your interest are. You're not trans just because you like things that society tells you not too.
It's all about how you personally feel.
Remember, no matter what you are, you never have to tell another person before you are ready. Some people will be ready to come out at 12 and others will need more time. That's okay! Take your time and try to not to force yourself or other out before they are ready.
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